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I was at an afterparty last night, for our high school reunion. This was the fourth annual all-class reunion which has been surprisingly fun. The picnic was 11-7 and then the afterparty was 9 pm - 2 am. Tee and I have been friends since 1st grade. We are fairly close but not super close. Never really had more than a petty argument that blew over. FF to last night. About six of her were standing around one of those tall tables, laughing and having a good time. We started talking about skydiving and 3 people said they were not jumping out of a perfectly good plane. I was in the middle between Frank and Tee (Terrance) and I placed a hand on each of their shoulders and said "Call me when your balls drop." Nearly everyone laughed. So then Tee made a crack and I was like, don't be like Terrance (his real name) and he grabbed my cup of water off the table and threw it in my direction. It hit me at stomach level and splashed on the arm of Frank. I was like, WTF is your problem? He was like, I told you don't use my government name. So my best friend's wife grabbed a napkin and started patting me dry. I told her I was good.

It changed the entire energy at the table. Frank had to get up early, so he announced his departure and hugged everyone. Now, I'm pissed and decide to bounce. I made my way around and hugged everyone--sans Tee, because fuq him! I made it home and best friend's wife text me:

J: I'm just checking to make sure you're okay. I can't believe he did that. I asked him after you left and he said, I told him about using my government name.

Me: I'm like, that's ridiculous. That's the name his mother gave him. Does he go around throwing water on everyone who calls him by his real name? There are two options he has--he can apologize to a lifelong friend or that's a wrap for me.

J: Oh no! I hate this! You all have been friends for so long, you are family. But I hear you. We all have boundaries and when people cross those boundaries, how they proceed says a lot.

Me: Exactly.

J: But you know him, he won't apologize.

Me: Then that's on him.

Now that I am north of 50, I have very little patience for BS. I try to protect my energy. A group of us get together about once a week or 2-3 times a month for dinner, drinks or one of the many fests that happen during the summer. At this point, I'm not sure I'll be attending for a bit as there will be tension. Usually, there are 5 of us who do the outings, so it's not like we have to speak. And our other two friends, who didn't attend the afterparty will surely ask me, why I'm suddenly not joining them. I have no issue stating exactly why. Part of me feels like texting him today, seeing if he wants to discuss what happened last night, so that we can clear the air. But, then there is part of me who is tired of being the person to extend the olive branch or initiate a conversation.

If the friendship were to end--I wouldn't shed a tear. I love him but actions have consequences. I'm at a point in my life where I am purposeful of who I want in my presence and not maintaining relationships that don't feed my soul.