In my experience, people who work extra hard, above and beyond, are the ones who employers always pile even more work on. The people who refuse to work that hard and insist on maintaining their life/work balance? Employers typically give up on giving them extra work and just dump extra projects on their hardest workers instead. It would be one thing if there were good rewards for working like a dog ā like raises and promotions. But, too often, the only thing the hardest workers get is even more work.
I do not miss that at all. Before I retired I was juggling a lot of deadlined projects (I was doing investigative research almost always on tight deadlines) and no matter how full my plate was, my boss would frequently add another assignment to my heap ā because he knew he could count on me to get good work done on time!
Good luck! I hope you and your hubby can find a way to draw a line in the sand with your employers.